Okay, so, I'm gonna be really honest and open and throw this question out here. I'm just wondering if any one of you great gals struggles with depression? I do and I find myself having a hard time lately. I don't really have any close friends to talk to about it. I know I could talk to my mom but she is my mom and she doesn't need to worry any more about me (I only say that because she is probably reading this, too...hi mom!). I know I wasn't super close to a lot of you when we were growing up but reading what you have to say on this board, I feel like maybe I'm your friend.
So, anyway, if you do and wouldn't mind "talking", maybe you can email me? If not, no worries. Nofrogsplease at gmail dot com. Thanks.
evelyn
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Evelyn, depression is very individual, while some of us need the aid of medication, others of us can use tactics to calm and inspire to keep us going.
the more I get to know people the more I've come to understand that there are MANY women whom have taken or are currently taking medication to help.
It's something that can be doubly defeating by just admitting. We like to think we can do everything ourselves and sometimes in our lds culture we feel that the Atonement should be able to heal everything without our having to "give up" and take medication. I believe Heavenly Father through His pouring out of His spirit has inspired the medical field to provide a way through counseling and medication and the Atonement, which encompasses everything good, to help us.
I personally feel our bodies get a little out of wack with everything going on in our lives. We also have a lot of demands on us.
One other thing I don't think we talk a lot about is the law of opposition. We are more spiritual I think than ever before. If our spirit is sensitive to the good, it will also be sensitive to the bad. We need to focus on learning the language of revelation, of discernment, and learn how to tune out the adversary and his destructive ways. This is a constant challenge for me.
Asking all of these talented women friends of ours is a good way to go about it.
Lucinda...thank you for your thoughts! You're right, there are a lot of women (even in the church) who have struggled with this. Depression, for me, is very lonely and it is SO helpful to have friends to turn to when I am at my low points! It helps to just talk (or write) and to gain new perspectives on the situation.
I've struggled with this for a long time but once I finally figured out what 'it' actually was, I had to realize that it was okay to look for answers elsewhere, other than just prayer & fasting. Like you said, all these things combined can be used to help. That is how the Lord intended it.
I had never thought about the law of opposition in regards to depression. Thats an interesting thought...one that I will continue to ponder!
Thanks again for your thoughts and perspective on this. Nice to know its not just me!
We all have different degrees of depression. Especially after delivering a baby or when some changes have come in our lives. I have found that taking time for myself has been a huge blessing. Just an hour of walking/running 4 times a week will clear your head. I don't listen to music, but listen to my own thoughts. Do what you love and if you don't know yet what you love, find out. Hopefully your husband, or a friend/family will help support you in this. I think babysitters are lifesavers. I have learned that you don't need to be going on a date with your husband to hire a babysitter. Sometimes we need a mental health day.
I took high doses of anti depressants for almost 6 years and they did nothing for me except for almost completely destroying my liver. Pills don't solve problems or bring happiness in my opinion. Although they can help a lot of people (I'm not knocking them for everyone) more and more studies are coming out saying that depression pills for many are just placebos.
Finding personal & fun time, service, eating well (including lots of fish & omega 3's which fight depression), a lot of meditation, getting outside in nature, exercise, trying to stop wasting so much energy 'thinking' and just being 'present' helped me overcome all of my demons. This and learning to be kind & love myself.
We are all divine beings & its easy to forget that we are all part of a huge plan. Our existences are not random and every single one of us has a gift that only we can share with the world. Life has natural progressions of ebbs & flows and both types are beautiful & are essential to our progression. I've learned its about finding the joys with the good and bad & giving up resistance to 'what is'. Doing what you can and then accepting whatever comes your way is very liberating. I remember reading once a story that Lance Armstrong gave about how after he was diagnosed with cancer that after that he said that he now only has, "good" or "great" days. Changing the way you think can change your life.
I know its easier said than done and I seriously know how you feel. I nearly took my own life a few times because I struggled so much with depression. There is light at the end of the tunnel, you are not alone & you can fight it. Just remember to trust yourself and take one moment & one breath at a time.
Evy, I LOVE YOU!!! Depression reeks! To be honest, I think you have had it very tough over the last few years. And to be honest, I think anyone who has faced what you have would be in the same mental situation. Having young children is trying enough on it's own. Add to that all the combined events of the last few years and it's not exactly a recipe for a happy dance! You are one of the strongest women I know, don't be too hard on yourself!! Life can be really hard and it may seem like things won't change, but they will. There will be easier and happier times ahead. I say, do whatever you need to do, for all of us. When times get tough, the tough fight!!! However you choose to fight, as long as you keep fighting! Love you!
Anon...I think you have a good point. Changing your perspective on things can make a big difference. I like what Lance Armstrong said: only good days or great days! I might try adopting that attitude!
And Mollie...thank you. You're so sweet. It has been a rough few years. Its funny what you have to do to get by; you really do have to keep fighting sometimes (even though I would love to hide under the covers instead!). Having these little kids and a family to take care of, I've realized that I can't hide. I have to be strong...if not for me, then for them!! I think those times when I do get down are the times when I stop and think, when life slows down a little bit!
Its like my favorite fish, Dory, said: Just keep swimming!
I've really enjoyed this conversation....it has helped! You all are so great!
I agree with Erika 250%!! After my 1st baby, I had PPD really bad and didn't even realize it. I didn't know who I was anymore or what I liked to do. I totally lost my identity. I didn't like myself and I was convinced that nobody liked me either. I thought that everything I said was offending people, including my own mother!! Sometimes I was home all week, except to go to church on Sunday. It wasn't until a few years later, when my husband signed me up for a Women's Soccer team and drove me to "Curves for Women" and had me sign up, that I was truly happy again. He wanted me to have a place to go, so that I could get a break because he knew that it would help me be happy again. I realized that I can still have hobbies and be a Mommy, even be a better Mommy! I love my workouts so much!! For $30 a month, and 30 minutes a day (45 including driving time) 3 times a week, I am able to renew myself!! (Plus knowing that I have paid the money also gets me to go on the hard days.) I have more patience, I am less down, I have more energy, I look better, and feel better about myself. I would highly recommend it!! Or take a book or knitting or whatever and go to the local library for a break. (But just make sure you schedule it in, so that you don't end up just putting it off.) Just get away somehow. Trade babysitting with a friend, if you have to. Even though it is hard, it is so, so worth it, to take time for yourself!! Don't feel guilty leaving because I guarantee you will be a better Mommy and wife because of it! That has made all the difference for me!!!
I totally agree that it is something almost everyone deals with in different times of their lives, especially after having a baby. I think that having time for yourself, your own goals and interests, helps with this. Especially exercising. And feeling like you accomplish things and have your own identity. It's a hard thing, because it makes you feel alone and icolated, when really it is a very common thing. I love you Evelyn. We've all been there.
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