So what I want to know is, what do you want to stand up and say in Relief Society? What burns inside of you? What truth has been witnessed to you lately that you feel the need to stand up and yell it to the world?
Was it something at the Womens conference? Was it something quiet you realized one day. I remember during the last part of my pregnancy with Nathan I sat (very fat) in sacrament meeting during testimony meeting. I was in a lot of pain, church was at 9am and Brendan was in the bishopric at the time. And a few people got up and said how happy their lives were, how they loved to live the gospel. For some reason I wanted to waddle right up to the microphone and say, "It's hard! It is so hard sometimes, and sometimes you don't want to hear how it will make you stronger or other people have it worse!" I wanted to say, "Somedays you don't have to can, do your family history, keep your kids and house clean, edify yourself, and have dinner ready with a smile on your face (Can't say I've ever had a day like that)." But I wanted other people to know that sometimes being alive, sticking with it just one more day takes greater strength sometimes than doing a lot on the days you have it together. And that's okay, and I think God understands, and I think I'm still worth something, cuz He keeps telling me I'm his daughter, that I'm divine, though most days during a trial that seems farthest from the truth, it's not. And it's okay somedays when all you can say is " I believe, help thou mine unbelief!"
It was good enough for the Savior to heal a man's child, it should be good enough for me on those days, you know the ones I'm talking about, the ones we don't talk about, yet we all have them. And so sometimes I want to stand up in relief society and say, "Come on now, let's be real, lists are good, and we like to have a mesure for our progress, but other than that throw them out! Do you love Jesus? Good, now let's all hug and have some real talk. Let's talk about the gospel, let's talk about Jesus and how HE can make me better, not how I can make myself better.
So that's just a little from me, how about you?
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Lucinda. I think you are talking to me today!! Just what I have wanted to scream for the past couple of months. I just had a really bad day and need to relate to others who are not perfect and don't have perfect lives. Cause right now I am stressed and just want to give up somedays but I don't cause deep down I know it is true. I just haven't been feeling close to heavenly father lately but I want to and I know that lies on me. What you wrote today made me feel like it is going to be okay and I am not alone and that just being is good enough for now cause that is all I can muster at this time. It is hard and you sacrafice alot of time to be in our church. My husband is gone a lot and I just can't do it all,all by myself. Blah,Blah,Blah!!I just needed your words today!! Thanks!!
Autumn, what does Nate do? Why is he gone a lot?
I am in the same boat with my husband.
Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the everyday things and then, not long after feeling like that, I beat that thought out of my head. How easy is my life really? I am in my 37th week of pregnancy and Matt just got home from being out of town for 2 weeks. People are always asking me if I'm okay and can I handle it. What gets me through, I think, is inspiration from those who have it much harder than I do. The women who's husband's are overseas serving their country. The women who actually have difficult pregnancies or who can't get pregnant at all.
The women who lose their children. Women who don't have the help and inspiration of the gospel.
But, on the other hand, just because others have it tougher than some of us, that doesn't discount our struggles. It doesn't make ours any less important.
It just helps me to put mine into perspective.
I don't know why it is that we tend to keep our struggles in. We are always supposed to be happy. I think also, when we talk about our weaknesses or troubles, that can make us feel vulnerable, like someone will judge us if they knew.
We are supposed to be strong women who can handle anything. We are, but sometimes we don't feel like we can.
We all go through phases of hardship or weakness. But we have a unique and distinct advantage. We have the gospel. No matter how low we get, we always have something under us to support us and not let us sink into an abyss. That foundation holds us up even when we don't feel it there until we look back and realize if it weren't for the gospel there would have been nothing to stop us.
I could talk on this forever. It is personal to all of us.
Elder Maxwell and Elder Euchdorf helped me through my last pregnancy, I heard them tell me over and over, "Thy timing be done" and "But if not...." I read over and over the comfort God gave Joseph Smith in D&C and the realization that Jesus descended below it all, "Art thou greater than He?"
It was hard for me to read those things sometimes, and I cried a lot (pregnant). But when that fat little baby was born, my grief was swept away and I was filled with joy and peace. I look at pregnancy like my trials sometimes, if I can just stick to a few principles, cry to Heavenly Father, just be able to say, "I need you", somehow the trial passes and my joy is restored.
My suggestion for feeling "closer", first and obviously scriptures and prayer. But music, music speaks to my soul. Also, when I pray, when I really just need to know He's there, I go into my closet, grab my notebook and a pen, start praying, then I listen and then I write what comes to me. It's amazing.
Heather, you're right there are always those who have it worse off. I watched a clip of a soldier who came back from Iraq with horrible burns you almost couldn't tell he was human, and I thought, how silly I am. It can serve as inspiration, it's part of the principle of service, when we seek to succer others in their burdens, the Lord lightens ours, or atleast strengthens our back.
I could go on forever too.
Autumn, I was just thinking also when you said "that lies on me". It doesn't. I mean not wholly. My favorite scripture story is of Peter, after walking on the water the waives rose and he feared and began to sink. It says the Lord IMMEDIATELY stretched forth his hand. Our part is just to SEE His hand, to realize it is their. We've heard His arm is stretched out all the day long. Somehow we feel sometimes that we need to convince Him to reach out to us when He is already there. And then we think we have to move mountains to meet His hand. All we have to do is bend our knees, and even He will help us do that.
You guys are wonderful. How lucky are we to have each other to confide in. My life is so blessed and I feel like I can hardly complain about a thing. Where much is given much is required. That is the theme of my life. Now get to work, Erika!
You guys are all so great!! I get down days but thanks to your good words I recover quickly!! I usually do. I just have a really fussy colicky baby and when I am stressed I do not do well. My husband is a teacher which you would think is great!! Well, it is alot of the time but along with teaching comes the coaching and is not home till 10 pm a lot of nights. He has been Elders Quorum president the past 2 years and was just put in as YM president. This takes him away alot also. But I should not complain because he could be out of town or overseas. I think I just need my husband to help with my sanity. 3 of my babies have been this way and I know it will pass but it is hard as a mother when your baby cries all the time and then you have 3 other children demanding your attention. When I am stressed I yell and feel guilty and like a horrible mother. I hate that I do this but it is hard to change what you grew up with. Hopefully my kids will forgive me!! I am going on and on but thank you all for your thoughts. Some good reminders.
It is very tough having a colicky baby. A few of mine were like that.
Lack of sleep, other children, and an infant who is constantly demanding attention by screaming doesn't make for a very happy mom. I am just about to enter that phase once more.
Sometimes it's even harder on a mom when your husband is in town but not home. When Matt is gone I don't expect anything from him. But when he's in town and at YM or meetings or something I'm always looking at my watch wondering when he's going to come home.
I wish I could give you a break for a few hours. It sounds like a nap during the day would do you a lot of good. Lack of sleep is what makes me crazy.
I hope your little one gets over this soon!
autumn, i'm thinking of you, too! i'm so sorry things are so tough for you right now. what lucinda and heather said is right...you are not alone! we all go through our things and you know me, i can definitely lose it with my kids. don't beat yourself up. we all have those weak moments that we regret. the key is recognizing, apologizing, and moving on. sending a big hug your way!
p.s. i thought this was an interesting post from another blog i cruise:
http://segullah.org/small-epiphanies/today/
kind of touching on similar ground as we are here.
I think that we all feel that way sometimes, and we forget that when we look at our "perfect" neighbor or friend (or that is how it seems to us or they want us to see them) and forget that other people have trials too. I agree that it is better to be real and tell things how they are, then you start to make real connections with people and they can help you to move past what you are dealing with sometimes, or just be a listening ear or support, because guaranteed, they are or have gone through things much worse or equally as hard. Yes, life is hard and a struggle sometimes, and it's hard when you are going through those struggles to remember your blessings and look at things that are positive (especially when you're preghant--LOL) thanks for the vent on what I'm positive all of us has felt at some point(s) in our lives.
Just wanted to say thanks for all your words. I really needed to read them! Life has gotten me really down lately but your encouraging words mean a lot. Thanks!!
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